Early in January, I posted that My 2020 Word Of The Year is Values and listed my core values, that define who I am, and how I intend to live my life. This is the second in a series that will examine each of those core values.
Each day I like to check in with Craig Harper’s @whiteboardlessons on Instagram as I find them an inspiring way to kick off a new day. Craig speaks about core values on his podcast which I never miss.
My Need For Calm
In my previous life as a wife, mother, business owner, gym instructor and fitness leader, calmness did not feature prominently. To tell the truth, there was very little that was calm in my life in those days.
Our business was always very busy. We were the only business of our type in town and also in the surrounding area. Most days it was chaotic. We had that business for over thirty years and lived the chaos of it for the entire time. I worked full time, and handled all the admin, while my husband was the qualified technician.
Our two sons were apprenticed to us, which was a good thing all round. The only disadvantage to that was the work talk that came home every day. It was never ending – at the dinner table, in the commercial breaks when we were having family time while watching TV, over breakfast. It seemed that I was living the chaos all day and also in the evenings.
That was until I brought it to a stop. My daughter was very academic and not involved with the business, which has her always feeling left out. So I made a new rule – no talking about work at home.
This seemed to work most of the time, but not all the time.
While all this was going on, I was night time and weekend manager at the gym. This also involved working on the gym floor and leading fitness classes. This really was my dream job but there was so much chaos That went along with it. Most people wouldn’t realise The dramas that go along with a job like this. The chaos was caused by the constant loud music, the busy-ness of training more than one person at a time. There was so much rushing, and at the end of my shift I’d be exhausted. I loved this job dearly so was prepared to cope with the chaos that came with it.
However, as I’ve aged, I’ve discovered that chaos has a huge negative affect on me. It makes me nervous, and can even cause me to have heart palpitations. I can’t think straight and every problem seems to be much worse looking through a lense of chaos, than it actually is.
Bringing Calm Into My Life
Thirteen years ago, when my life fell apart, which I’ve written about many times on this blog, I told myself that no matter what the rest of my life looked like, I would ensure that there would be no chaos. I made it a priority to live a life of calm. By then, my children had moved away, so choosing a life of calm wasn’t so difficult.
Mostly, my life has been calm ever since. I’ve had my share of upsets but they haven’t disturbed my calm. I seem to have worked out how to make calmness my default situation. This has just occurred organically. I haven’t done any work or training, to ensure that I stay calm. I’m fairly sure that taking myself out of the chaos, has caused calm to show up in my life. These days I surround myself with people who don’t bring chaos to my life. I seem to be naturally attracted to those who share my core value of staying calm.
Other core value posts:Fitness is a Priority
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