Yes I’m guilty of being AWOL from this blog that is usually a priority for me. In the past couple of weeks I have published only one lone post. Usually my plan is to post two or three times each week. I have to admit that I’ve been hiding under a rock and now it’s time to look at why.

My concerns

•  Since returning from the Gold Coast,  I’ve been feeling a bit stuck. After six days in the beautiful Queensland sunshine, returning to the cold, bleak winter of Victoria wasn’t much fun.
• One week after returning from the Gold Coast, I attended the Bendigo Writers Festival. I was there for three full days and loved every minute. But in the back of my mind for most of the time was what I should have been doing at home.
• I have decided to stand down from my position as President of our local community group. This decision wasn’t an easy one to make, so I’ve spent many hours thinking about it. Now I have made my decision, somehow I need to find time to do all that needs to be done to complete the handover in just a few weeks.
• The Bloody Long Walk is on this Sunday. Until recently, my training has been going well, but I’ve developed a foot injury that is worrying me. I’ve spent many wakeful hours in the night worrying about whether my foot will stand up to the 35k walk.
•  Due to all that I’ve been trying to get done, the housework has been falling behind. I know this doesn’t sound like a big problem, but on top of everything else, it’s causing me quite a bit of stress
• I’ve been dealing with a couple of problems at work that are beyond my control, but they are leading me to think that maybe it’s time to retire. Making this decision is more difficult  than I expected.
• A couple of family issues that I don’t usually discuss publicly, have been causing me more stress than usual.
• My usual healthy eating plan has gone out the window. It seems that since I returned from the Gold Coast, all I’ve wanted to do is to eat carbs and comfort food.  I recognise that stress is causing this, but haven’t been able to stop myself.

I am aware that writing about these concerns, may come across as a ‘whingeing’ post. I really hope that’s not the case as it isn’t my intention.

Lightbulb moments

Over the past few nights, I’ve been awake thinking about these concerns, instead of sleeping. I am usually a positive person and try not to dwell on things. I can usually see the positive in most situations, however the above concerns have really been affecting me. After much thought and analysing, I had a couple of ‘lightbulb moments.

• I realised that I have found myself caught up in an issue that affects many women. We can often think that we have to do it all. And do it perfectly. Blogger Friend Leanne posted this week about the Quest To Be Perfect. It was this post that triggered my realisation that I had been trying to be all things and trying to do everything perfectly.
• It was also very timely, that I came across another blog that really resonated with me. Terri wrote about The Winter Blues. The information in this post made me realise that I most probably had a dose of the winter blues. Her post is very interesting and worth reading.

My thoughts today

After very little sleep, I’ve woken to a new day and as an added bonus, the sun is shining. As I woke and thought of my lightbulb moments during the night, I felt a load lift off me. I’m sure that if I can recognise what the problem is, that insight will help to lighten the load and make plans to move forward.

I spent the past two mornings in the garden under a beautiful sunny sky. The sunshine felt like food for the soul. After the gardening, I walked. Just for an hour due to the foot issue. For a change, I went into town and walked along the walking path. To see so many smiling faces, happy to be out in the fresh air on a sunny day, made me feel much better. In seven days, spring will be here. Flowers are starting to bloom in my garden and that makes me smile. It’s amazing the difference a little sunshine can make to attitude and a feeling of well being,

Except for the sun shining today, nothing really has changed, but I do feel better. I can  now see that these concerns are manageable. There is nothing in the above list that is about life or death.  There is nothing in the list that is even extremely important.

I’ve written a list of things that I can do over the next week to take care of those concerns. Surprisingly, the list is not as long as I had expected  and do-able.

I hope you can understand why I felt the need to write about this.  I often write about my great my life, so, to be authentic, I feel I should write about what is not so great. The process of getting my concerns out of my head has enable me to see my concerns more clearly. So a big thankyou for reading this, and especially for staying with me until the very end.

Do you ever get overwhelmed with your responsibilities? Do you ever feel that you’re losing control over your life?  I would love to hear about your experiences below in comments. I promise to reply to all comments.