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Special Days

May 10, 2020 By nextphaseinfitness 16 Comments

As I write this it is Mother’s  Day here in Australia, and as we all know this day is an extra special day for families.  For most families that is. For me Mothers Day is a bit of a struggle. I don’t get to see my family on Mother’s Day, and even if I did, there would always be one person missing at the table – my son Craig who passed away in 1995 at age 18.

I usually try to ignore the Mother’s Day hype,  in the media and on social media, and try to spend time doing something I enjoy. Yesterday I went out for a bushwalk with my partner and with Oscar the toy poodle. As usual, getting out into nature always cheers me up. It was a cold Sunday,  so after the walk, we took time out to sit on the couch and watch a movie. This is something we never do, ever, but I had been trying to find time to do this since Christmas, when I was given Downtown Abbey. It was a lovely day and I loved the movie. So please don’t think I had a completely sad day. There were many joyful moments as well as the sadness.

I really don’t want any reader to think that this is me wallowing or looking for sympathy at all. I don’t need sympathy as I’m doing ok. I cope quite well with these special days when they come along, and there are a few of them every year. There are birthdays, death dates, anniversaries, Christmas, Easter and there’s Mother’s Day.

In the early years I struggled with these days, as it seemed they would unexpectedly hit me in the face at every turn.  I’m much better with coping these days and mostly, I’m able to  think of the good times. And there have been many along the way.

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Filed Under: Headspace Tagged With: Anniversaries, Mothers Day

Comments

  1. Michele Somerville says

    May 10, 2020 at 10:37 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. In truth, Mother’s Day is a struggle for many people for a variety of reasons, so I am quite sure this post was helpful. The hype can intensify the pain and churches get into the mix with “Mother Daughter” banquets and sermons and services aimed at Mother’s Day. Because it leaves a lot of people out and as I said, it can be a piainful day for many reasons. I am glad that you had a good day yesterday and that you were able to enjoy the movie and the walk and the company.
    Blessings this day, Michele

    Reply
    • nextphaseinfitness says

      May 11, 2020 at 8:15 am

      Thankyou Michele. I’m sure there are many who have had a difficult day. I’m hoping they managed to find some joy in the day

      Reply
  2. Natalie says

    May 11, 2020 at 9:13 am

    Hi Jennifer, I’m glad you made the day a lovely day. It’s human to feel joy and sadness at the same time. I enjoyed watching Downtown Abbey a while ago. Have a good week ahead! #lifethisweek

    Reply
    • nextphaseinfitness says

      May 12, 2020 at 10:03 pm

      Thanks for visiting Natalie. I hope it’s a great week for you

      Reply
  3. Joanne Tracey says

    May 11, 2020 at 9:46 am

    Mother’s Day can be difficult for many reasons and I hope they like you managed to find some joy. As an aside, your post didn’t read as though you were looking for pity, there was a quiet, contemplative feel to it. And a walk & Downton Abbey would have been the perfect way to honour that feeling.

    Reply
    • nextphaseinfitness says

      May 12, 2020 at 10:02 pm

      Thanks Jo. I’m pleased to hear my post didn’t read the way I had thought it did

      Reply
  4. Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au says

    May 11, 2020 at 1:58 pm

    Hi Jennifer – I think it’s to be expected that there would be some sadness mixed in with something like Mothers Day when you’ve lost a child. I’m glad you managed to make it a lovely day despite that.

    Even with no loss, I still struggle with the expectations and the fact that I “do the right thing” with my mum and MIL every year with cards, presents and visits, but my kids do the absolute minimum. Last year I mentioned it to my lovely DIL and got a bit teary – she was shocked because she said my son thought I didn’t really care about M/Day! Needless to say, this changed things a bit and this year there was a present added to the cards and calls – so I think they’re “getting” it at last! No visits, but the zones are being opened so I have that to look forward to in a couple of weeks – I’m very excited!

    Reply
    • nextphaseinfitness says

      May 12, 2020 at 10:01 pm

      Hi Leanne I did have a chuckle reading about your families reaction to Mothers Day. I probably didn’t train my children well. We don’t make a big deal over Mother’s Day.

      Reply
  5. Debbie Harris says

    May 11, 2020 at 2:21 pm

    Well said Jennifer! Your day sounds like a nice mix of everything and good for you for sitting down and watching the movie you’d been wanting to see for ages. We rarely sit down during the day to watch a movie but when we do it’s very much appreciated because it’s so out of character. I agree all mums are priceless! I really feel for you, take care x #lifethisweek

    Reply
    • nextphaseinfitness says

      May 12, 2020 at 9:59 pm

      Thanks for your lovely comments Deb

      Reply
  6. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond says

    May 12, 2020 at 6:53 am

    Hi Jen, you don’t ever need to apologise for the way you feel and I can totally understand that although you have other children one can never get over the loss of a child. I actually shared a post on Mother’s Day for those who find the day difficult. You always inspire me Jen and I’m sending a big hug to you. Take care and thank you for writing so openly about how you feel. xx

    Reply
    • nextphaseinfitness says

      May 12, 2020 at 9:59 pm

      Thanks for the big Sue and your your support

      Reply
  7. Sanch @ Sanch Writes says

    May 12, 2020 at 9:24 pm

    I think days like these can be such a struggle for people who have lost a parent or a child – it’s a jarring reminder of what you don’t have. Whether through death or even strained relationships. Thank you for sharing this.

    Reply
    • nextphaseinfitness says

      May 12, 2020 at 9:58 pm

      Thanks for visiting Sanch and for your comment

      Reply
  8. Denyse Whelan says

    May 14, 2020 at 2:52 pm

    Like I too admitted in my post, Mother’s Day has overtones of being “told” what to do. I have lowered the bar to nil for expectations in the past couple of years and it is so much better. Taking care of your health and emotions is such an important self-care task and it sounds like you did it well.

    Thanks so much for linking up for Life This Week. Next week, the optional prompt is 20/51 Share Your Snaps #4. 18.5.2020 and I look forward to catching you linking up there too. Warm wishes, Denyse.

    Reply
    • nextphaseinfitness says

      May 14, 2020 at 9:19 pm

      Sharing this post has made me realise there are mixed thoughts about Mother’s Day.

      Reply

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