I had another birthday last week. I’m now at an age that, as a younger person, I never thought I would reach. I remember when Mum was my age now, and I was in my forties, I thought she was sooo old and would probably die soon. She’s now in her eighties and going strong. It’s possible that she’s going stronger than me.
My birthday has always caused me reflect about the direction my life took over the past year, and what may be ahead for me. This birthday, in particular has made me think about my future, and I must say that I’ve felt quite confronted by my thoughts. Never before, in my entire life, have I thought so much about my future, as I’ve done in the past week.
A few weeks before my birthday, I read a post written by blogger Deb, titled What Does The Future Hold. This post really made me stop and think. If you have time, click on the link and see what Deb has to say.
When I read Deb’s post, I left her a comment, which reflected the way I was thinking:
“This is a huge question Deb, especially in these times. Actually so much pops into my head when I think about it.
Most importantly, I hope the future holds a visit to Noosa to see my grandsons. I’m sure you’re sick of hearing about that little issue.
Other than that, here’s hoping the future brings more peace, love and happiness”.
After I read this post, I started to think, just a little, about the future. And then wham, it was my birthday and I was another year older! All those thoughts about the future went into overdrive, with my head buzzing for days.
For the first time in my life, I have no idea of what could be in my future. Almost my entire life has been planned, until now. Having a thriving business for thirty years, our life revolved around our business life. Family always came first of course, but our business was a very close second, and they were very much intertwined. From the time that the children were very young, I worked full time in the business, and life was so incredibly busy. Every moment of my life in those years, seemed to be super oganised, and planned with almost military precision.
Today, things are different. I’m much calmer and more relaxed, but I’m starting to stress, just a little, about what lies in my future. I suppose the number one thing to consider is health. If I have health issues, I’m not sure what will happen to me. As I age, will I need care? I’m not really sure what that care would look like. In the news last week, all the talk was about the dreadful state of our aged care homes, and the appalling way our elderly are treated in them. Of course, I realise that is not all aged care homes, but we don’t seem to hear anything about the well run homes.
I’m definitely nowhere near being ready for an aged care home, and I hope I never have to be accommodated in one. However, I’ve realised that as I’m ageing this is my biggest worry. Thankfully at the moment, I’m in good health, and all I can say is, long may it last.
I don’t sleep much and haven’t done for years. I’ve noticed recently that when I lay awake in the wee small hours, I’m thinking about my future. When these thoughts start, the possibility of a good night’s sleep is gone. Until recently, during my waking hours, I would normally spend very little time, or no time, thinking about my future. Those thoughts are definitely not the way to happiness. I’m very focused on happiness this year, as my Word of the Year is Happiness. I’m trying my best to focus on what makes me happy and not on what makes me stressed. I’m fairly sure that road is a more direct route to happiness.
This post is linked up to Denyse’s #lifethisweek
and Natalie’s Weekend Coffee Share
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Oh Jen, I feel for you as it can be a very worrying time, when we don’t know what’s ahead of us can’t it? I really appreciate your mention of my post and I went back and read it again just to see what I said!!
I think the uncertainty of things is getting to me more than I thought it would, not being able to make a plan and know with confidence that it will work out is hard to take for over 2 years now.
My main worry for the future is not about my own impending old age, I think I’ve just put that in a drawer and locked it away for the moment (not a good thing to do I’ll admit), but for my children who have health issues with their little ones and don’t know what the future holds. Seeing them upset and worried makes me sick with worry at times and as I’m so far away and travel is limited I just don’t know when things will improve.
I love your word of the year and hope it is helping in some small way. x
Hi Deb my WOTY is turning out to be exactly the word I need. The world has been a worrying place over the past two years. I do worry about the younger ones and hope life gets better for them. I hope your family worries improve too.
Happy birthday Jen! I think it is natural to start to ponder about our future as we age, especially in regards to where we will live, our health and yes even the end. It is important though to just try to live each day as best we can. Yes have a plan for the future so you feel calmer but then put it aside and make the most of every day. My Mum died at 63 so I’ve now lived two years longer than she did. I hope you can get to Noosa to see your family as I know that you certainly bring you joy. Take care. xx #lifethisweek
Sue That trip to Noosa is what I need. I know it will lift my spirits. These issues don’t even enter my mind during the day. The nights are a different matter
Ah yes. I was surprised that someone I know (on social media only) mentioned they’d sold their house and they along with their partner were travelling to decide where they wanted to retire. (They’re travelling first to Panama but also considering Portugal!)
I was mostly shocked as I read back through several posts and she talked about turning 55 and how she’d focussed on looking at her / their finances over the past year to identify what their property was worth, as well as superannuation etc…
I’ve just turned 54 and though I’ve barely worked full time in the last decade (more about unemployment and underemployment) the idea of retirement (yet) shocked me. But it also made me stop and really consider the direction of my life.
The years creep up Deb. When I was in my mid 50s these issues never even occurred to me. Then suddenly it was time to think about retirement.
Hi Jennifer – Happy birthday and I hope that your thoughts move from worry to happiness as the year progresses. I find birthdays sometimes trigger ponderings about the future or the years that are behind us. I’m getting better at realizing that there’s a lot in life that we have no control over, so worrying achieves nothing (other than robbing the present time of any joy it holds). I’m sure you have many, many years ahead full of enriching living – so don’t let the doom and gloom of covid times steal your peace of mind. My husband always says that age is a state of mind – so I hope you find a lovely sweet spot to settle your mind into (especially at night so you can sleep peacefully) x
H Leanne I agree with your hubby that age definitely is a state of mind. I’ve always said to only worry about what you can control. I’ve sort of gone a bit off track with that. Thanks again for your support
Happy Birthday, Jennifer – I agree with your closing thought to focus on what makes you happy and not on what makes you stressed or what might happen down the road. When I begin to get caught in the worry trap I try to remind myself that worrying doesn’t take away future troubles – but it does steal today’s inner-peace! You deserve to focus on happiness – it is a great birthday gift to give to yourself!
Thanks for the sensible advice Donna. I appreciate your interest
Ah Jennifer, birthdays are indeed a reminder of the NOW and we look at ourselves saying “is that me?” Happy Birthday.
I hope you know by now that those night time thoughts are often the darkest, not necessarily because of “the dark” but because our very helpful (not always) brain takes us down those paths. A far better plan might be, to hopefully say, “thanks mind” but I will be OK without your help and perhaps get up and do a little writing about things and see what sense they make in the light of day.
I am making significant shifts in my life as it is now and for how I might manage my emotional health better into 2022 and will be blogging about it sometime in March. I have to say it IS confronting to contemplate our older-aged selves and I have some thoughts to continue to process about that.
Do you have any contact with your Mum? I only ask because observing my father’s ageing has given me some clues about mine.
I do hope you get your long awaited reunion to Qld and the family soon.
Thank you for sharing Your blog post linked for #LifeThisWeek. I look forward to seeing you again when you next link up! Warm wishes. Denyse.
Thanks for your insightful comments Denyse. I’m looking forward to your posts on ageing. I do realise that the dark middle of the night thoughts don’t really mean much. I spend a fair bit of time out of bed reading, but that doesn’t seem to help with the sleep. Mum is still alive. She is ageing in an excellent way. I should take heart at that.
Happy belated birthday, Jennifer. I’m glad to hear you’re trying your best to focus on what makes you happy and not on what makes you stressed. Every new day is a gift and a birthday is a special gift. I’d suggest to have a general life plan knowing that changes are constant and enjoy the ‘present’. Thank you for linking up with #weekendcoffeeshare.
I can totally understand having these thoughts and I admit I’m having them too although I’m only 48. It’s probably good to have a plan but not let the thoughts of an uncertain future (especially now) stop you from enjoying what you have now, as you talk about at the end of your post.
First, happy late Birthday!! What a thought provoking post. I’m 53 and I often think of the future. What will it hold? How can I stay as healthy as possible for as long as possible. How can I live a vibrant and full life. I’ve now lost both my parents and it makes me even more determined to stay healthy in mind, body and spirit.
Thanks for the birthday wishes Kirstin. Ageing sure is a challenge. I think the key is to stay healthy in mind as well as body. Thanks for visiting.